□ Left Right Conservative Liberal Independent Tea Bag Democratic Republican Center?

I know I’m a Democrat, and I’m pretty sure I’m an American. I have no clue honestly if I’m a Righty or a Lefty. I couldn’t tell you whether or not I’m a Conservative, or a Liberal, or a Conservative Liberal, or a Liberal Conservative. I know I am pretty Liberal when it comes to sandwich spread and peanut butter, but that’s as liberal as I’m aware of being.

Hell I find more than half of the labels confusing, I know that a conservative right Republican needs mental rehabilitation, and a vacation in Ethiopia as a bed nurse, just to get back their humanity. Other than that I’m pretty lost on all the others.

Independent seems like the new way to go, but I’m getting those guys lost in the shuffle between tea bags and the left side of liberals, which I have no clue what that means. I’m lost on the meanings between being a left or a right. Yesterday I heard someone call themselves a “center” and that almost blew my mind. I assure you this wasn’t intended to be fractious, but I really don’t know where all these labels came from, or how you get labeled in the first place?

I feel like I am in a nickname race. Who decides what label you get adorned with? Do you pick your own, or does someone else apply the label for you? What if you’re pretty sure the label you have on is the label you prefer to wear?

Does that mean in conjuncture, I can be branded because of a stance or a ideal? If so, how long does the label stay on? Will it come off like a pickle jar label in the shower?

What if I would like being called an American Democrat? Would that be okay? Maybe a small label on my back that says, “Kick me when I’m down.”

I could easily find labels for some politicians to wear, but not one of the above mentioned would be applied. Labels such as, Lazy, Incompetent, Foolish, Racist, Stupid is and stupid does, Criminal, and Honk if You Have No Idea What Direction America is Running In….

Maybe some bumper sticker bingo labels for the Senate and Congress.

So, I have no clue what side of the fence I’m on, or what label applies to me, I just know it’s getting pretty hard to tell who is who anymore.